I will finally be fashionable

I am not a trendy dresser. I stick to solid colors, no patterns, few words on shirts. I don't wear accessories because I break or lose them. I hate to shop for clothes. I'm not a big fan on spending money on something I will probably drip chocolate ice cream on.

However, I found that my dread in shopping for clothing to fit my expanding body was unwarranted. The "in" style now is, in my opinion, clothing that could pass for maternity. Flowy shirts, extra long, empire waists etc. I spent an obscene amount of money in the Juniors sections of department stores buying the fashion plate to show off a big belly. Boo-ya.

I did have to bend and buy actual maternity pants with the elastic bands. That was the most frustrating part as it seems I have a preference for where the band falls on my stomach (I hate low rise and like more mid-belly). I don't quite need them yet, but I'm becoming limited in my pants/shorts choices and I'm running out of skirts. I'm also very, very cheap and did not want to simply buy bigger pants that might not fit me in a month anyway. I was hoping I could live out of wrap skirts until fall but I don't think that's going to happen.

Lazy and queasy

That seems to sum me up the past couple of weeks. Wet blanket. Stick-in-the-mud and other phrases my mom would use. Right now Trout is beautifying our already beautiful yard while I sit on my ass and ponder finishing off the cotton candy I got yesterday at the craft/art festival downtown.

I have not been eating well. I've been craving red meat, which I've indulged in and now that I'm paying for with some serious gut rot and low grade instestinal cramping. The already present constipation has only been made worse by my binge. I also crave french fries which I had today as well. Though I love it, deep fried food and my GI tract do not see eye-to-eye.

I took a very long nap but I'm still tired. I think I need to sit in the tub for a while and stare at my bloated belly. There is a good chance I broke our camera, so no pics until I either break down and buy a new one (which I want to do anyway) or Trout fixes the old one.

Famous Last Words

I walked away from this blog knowing I may not have internet for a while. Moving to a new town, re-organizing my life with my husband in order to buy a house, kinda killed the babymaking idea for the time being. I stated I was done with it for a while to concentrate on all this other chaos in my life.

Famous...last...words.

If my calculations and Bleep! Bleep! are correct, we conceived a child the day we closed on our house. The most stressful day in my life to date.

I am pregnant and have been for quite some time.

15 days after my peak reading I took a pregnancy test, half expecting to wipe afterwards and see AF as I have too many times before. Except this time, I saw two lines. Almost immediately. I sat, dumbfounded and then cried on the toliet for 15 minutes in the early hours of the morning. I left the test on the kitchen table for DH that morning and cried again when I told him. At work, I was shaking all day, wondering if somehow my co-workers would know.

Then at work the next Monday, my co-worker who gave birth in January, almost 4 months too early, to son that lived for 8 days returned to work. She will never be the same and returned to us a broken and very sad person. I never felt such conflicted emotions in my life. She announced her resignation for a part-time position and another institution that again, made me conflicted. I was happy that I wouldn't have to tell her, then I wanted to cry.

So far I have been nauseous but have not thrown up. I am terribly exhausted all the time. Like go to bed at 7 kinda tired. After getting a few lab tests done, the Dr. was able to pick up a heartbeat. I cried while he looked bored.

Another note. I am either having a homebirth or at a local birthing center. Not a hospital unless it is an emergency situation. However, this care is not covered by my insurance. Whatever IS covered by my insurance (such as blood tests, cultures etc) my midwife will send me back to a doctor within my insurance. Though I got to hear the heartbeat that day, the visit re-affirmed by reasoning to NOT be in a hospital setting with a Dr.

My official due date is December 16, 2007. This is based on last menstrual period. However, since I am a late ovulator, I'm not sure this date is entirely accurate and I've been telling people Christmas. The date system confuses me. Again, going by last menstrual period. I will be 10 weeks on Sun. I'm holding my breath, keeping my fingers crossed, and praying to random icons I find around my house that things will be ok and this baby will make it. So far, everyone is optomistic and I am too.