Quiet

Things have been pretty quiet around here.

Today is both my father and MIL's birthday. What are the odds? Trout, his dad, and the two others all have birthdays in February.

I work up early this morning (because I went to bed at, ahem, 8:30) and watched SiCKO. Cried through half of it.

The boy and I played and ate. Since he has stopped nursing (hasn't shown any interest to me since he stopped) he is eating about twice as much. He is also sleeping better. Mama is still on a rollercoaster of emotions and is terribly afraid about how bad PMS will be this month. Save me from myself!

I haven't been taking many pictures lately. Since my Pro account expired on my Flickr page, I haven't had much incentive. Maybe my mood is much worse than I thought. I am on my tiptoes waiting for spring.

Now I'm starving since I've been up so long. Breakfast part 3 for me.

Boobs and taxes

Such a kicker of a title, no?

Bubs has not nursed in 4 days. Now, what I've been reading says toddlers his age usually don't weaned themselves unless there is some issue. However, knowing my son, I won't be surprised if he did just decide he was done and that was that. He tends to suddenly do things (such as reaching and mastering developmental milestones) without much warning.

I am a mess because of this. Mostly because I would have liked some warning! That and I'm still pumping, just in case he changes his mind, so that I can maintain a milk supply. I really hate pumping and now I have to do it more. Also, I just miss snuggling with him.

I think I'm ok if this is the end.

Our tax return in filed and we are in a somewhat good spot, which relieves me a bit. We shall see if this means a house this year. It can be a possibility. Trout also treads on the end of pessimism and I think he wants to stuff it all in the mattress.

Mind mush

I haven't had a lot of motivation to blog. Winter has worn out its welcome, work is starting to suck (not the work itself, but external persons are making my life miserable at the moment), finances are getting me down, and I am exhausted. So I'm dragging my ass on through until something changes. Just get on through.

When we get our tax return we'll see if buying is even an option this year. Given that we had borrowed money from Trout's parents for the first house, our chances of hitting up a family member this time around are slim. I'm racking my brain for more ways to save/ make more money. I should just be happy that I have a job.

Until I get out of my funk, enjoy:

Pondering

So, I haven't had much to say the past couple of days.

Last week my cousin died. The one who was closest in age to me. She had a recurrence of cancer that first struck her when we were teenagers. This time around it slowly killed her. She was sick during my baby shower and my aunt came without her so she's was pretty sick for a while. She just finally slipped away after being robbed of a normal life.

And I didn't go and see her since I've moved back to the area. That is my own fault and right now, I'm trying to deal with how I have failed her. We weren't close, we were much closer when we were kids and our grandparents were still alive. But I don't feel like that is a good enough reason.

I'm still trying to process and I am not coming up with any answers.